Twitter Wars 2026
โ† All players

Hermit

@hermitfriend ยท ๐Ÿš€ Rising
32,546,700
September 2026 points
Scores updated 8 min ago
Tweets
266
Likes
290,040
Retweets
10,325
Replies
918
Quote tweets
599
2ร— boosted
1
Followers
467+136

Every scored tweet

300 per tweet ยท 100 per like ยท 200 per reply ยท 300 per retweet ยท 300 per quote tweet
TweetLikesRetweetsRepliesQuotesBoostPoints
for my 18th birthday my girlfriend (who was a few months younger than me) invited me over to her place "while her parents were gone" ๐Ÿ˜ when I arrived she left the room and my best friend walked in dressed as Chris Hansen and said "What did you think was going to happen here?" https://t.co/RJRSFSmAGe
Aug 6๐Ÿฅ‡ Gold
117,1963,898223146โ€”
12,977,700
omg im so embarrassed,,, the abyss was actually gazing at its friend right behind me ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ญ
Aug 24๐Ÿฅ‡ Gold
26,2312,7802039โ€”
3,473,100
every chair is a cuck chair when you're not having sex
Aug 12๐Ÿฅ‡ Gold
19,9757751524โ€”
2,240,500
easily one of my favorite birthdays
Aug 6๐Ÿฅ‡ Gold
22,05677241โ€”
2,234,100
BESTIE: ooooh third date tonight, you know what that means ME: (nodding) failing the penultimate layer of the survivability onion BESTIE: ME: fourth date he kills me https://t.co/ADPPtFiwVl
Aug 26๐Ÿฅ‡ Gold
18,0259103033โ€”
2,091,700
when I ran out of the house to escape, all my other friends were there, waiting to arrest me with zip ties and shoot me with nerf darts then they perp-walked me to get cake
Aug 6๐Ÿฅ‡ Gold
19,4568042โ€”
1,971,300
he read excerpts from a fabricated chat log, claiming I sent messages "so obscene that they had to bleep them in the written transcript"
Aug 6๐Ÿฅ‡ Gold
17,5395910โ€”
1,772,100
I put LotR on in Italian to see if Gandalf refers to the Balrog with the formal or informal "you" in YOU SHALL NOT PASS it's the informal, which raises a second question: is it because he doesn't respect the Balrog or because they boyz (both maiar)
Aug 6๐Ÿฅ‡ Gold
13,15861913571โ€”
1,550,100
it's common advice to dumb down your vocabulary to reach a wider audience. I wanna know who's elevating it to cut more people out. who's using words that were only written down once in the 1400s and once in the dictionary. who's writing at a 75th-grade reading level
Aug 16๐Ÿฅˆ Silver
5,304331214170โ€”
723,800
the mark of a good streaming service is an iconic show/movie that you can't get anywhere else netflix: kpop demon hunters hbo: succession united states library of congress: Silent Footage of Liza Minnelli's Third Birthday Party as Filmed by Famed American Lyricist Ira Gershwin https://t.co/ARhr9FLymY
Aug 6๐Ÿฅˆ Silver
5,18138975โ€”
638,000
@itsyaboidougie one of the funniest things I've been a part of and I had nothing to do with it
Aug 7๐Ÿฅ‰ Bronze
4,845440โ€”
486,800
@NathanImago gdi you're right. they shouldn't have used nerf guns
Aug 7๐Ÿฅ‰ Bronze
4,242330โ€”
426,000
I can't date someone with a creative passion unless I legitimately like/respect what they make. I was insane to ever think it could be otherwise
Aug 19๐Ÿฅ‰ Bronze
3,3451351384โ€”
403,100
@Flydie_Lwood oh, he'd been practicing
Aug 7๐Ÿฅ‰ Bronze
3,646300โ€”
365,800
we should bring back cutely ironic punishments that echo the nature of the wrongdoer's crime for example, whoever replaced the twitter photo grid with the carousel could be drawn and quartered
Aug 18๐Ÿฅ‰ Bronze
3,18215190โ€”
365,600
walking by a math department and lobbing a golden apple that says: โœจ"Round to the nearest integer: 0.49999999..."โœจ
Aug 11๐Ÿฅ‰ Bronze
2,11322267โ€”
225,500
imagine inventing a word that means "good judgment; restraint", and then the first time someone asks you to spell it you have a full-blown panic attack that gets recorded in every dictionary for the rest of time https://t.co/SmVzlcZuFq
Aug 29
8523551โ€”
97,300
@ascetic_shadow I actually reconnected with a lot of them recently after drifting apart post high school; I should ask them if they remember anything else about it the next time we hang out
Aug 6
560030โ€”
56,900
A friend recently told me he thinks people shouldn't be allowed to read whatever they want; that we should be socially policing thoughtcrime. I find myself growing less and less capable of having conversations like this
Aug 21
2026114โ€”
25,700
I've tried faking it, being honest, loving it because they made it, avoiding the subject entirely. The only thing that's ever worked is actually thinking "holy shit my gf is so talented ๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต"
Aug 19
218011โ€”
22,600
@wirmgurl I'm willing to pick an undergraduate math department at a D-tier theater school to make this work
Aug 11
208110โ€”
21,600
@Poopiepoopapoo i had already raised my hand in a little half-wave so i tried to play it off like i was just reaching to adjust my glasses, but im wearing contacts so i just kind of pawed at my face
Aug 24
170110โ€”
17,800
Here's the best advice I know with absolute certainty: Record your parents retelling your family stories. Save the files in multiple locations. By the time you fully appreciate how good this advice is, it will be too late
Aug 21
138840โ€”
17,300
the only real sexualities are good pervert, bad pervert, and antihero pervert
Aug 18
1071131โ€”
15,200
@adam__isom @noa_tate_ Zeno's paradox is getting infinitesimally close to entering the chat
Aug 11
103000โ€”
10,600
I *almost* wasn't going to buy this $17,000 diamond ring from the online goodwill store, but then I saw that it had the green 1ยข shipping sticker I'd be a fool to let a deal like that pass me by https://t.co/zwKXlfFyrt
Aug 18
81020โ€”
8,800
Why are there only ever 1-2 mosquitoes in my room? If I kill one, another will find its way in. But if I don't kill one for days, it never goes above 1-2 mosquitoes. Why don't the replacement mosquitoes come in if the originals are still alive? Why don't I end up with 20?
Aug 23
69060โ€”
8,400
@DaSpudLord you've ยฑpassed the test
Aug 11
78000โ€”
8,100
@moldbugchaser and so the fight in the math department begins
Aug 11
65010โ€”
7,000
@thereisnome369 lmao yeah
Aug 6
62000โ€”
6,500
@Slippyzipp6388 Ah, but I have long been prepared for your periphrastic canticles: https://t.co/cU33Frmv5I
Aug 16
57010โ€”
6,200
@ianhowlett depends on your purpose in using a given word. you can't always get the same effect from the simplest one available https://t.co/Uhjdiq0vi9
Aug 16
55100โ€”
6,100
I must be the only mf dumb enough to regularly write 20k words to figure something out and then publish none of them because "it seems too obvious to share"
Aug 14
52030โ€”
6,100
thinking about putting 20 hours of work into a dumb tweet that'll get 4 likes
Aug 18
37251โ€”
5,900
And lo, unto them came the cowboy god, Yeehaweh,
Aug 6
44400โ€”
5,900
https://t.co/44SMdcckAi
Aug 6
44100โ€”
5,000
when I said I'd reward you handsomely, I meant I'd look hot doing it. here's 5 bucks uggo
Aug 25
34300โ€”
4,600
that which can be destroyed by this cool hammer I found should be
Aug 28
28400โ€”
4,300
@wirmgurl have you tried applyall? I personally have no experience with it, but I've been showing it to people in my life who are looking for jobs and they seem to like it @AnthonyCastrio not sure if you prefer to not be tagged in posts like these, but worm girl, the link is in his bio
Aug 19
10210
2ร— ApplyAll
4,200
2,100 ร— 2
@tnickbyrnes4 see, you can understand why i was confused
Aug 24
36010โ€”
4,100
is it weird that I feel less masculine for never having had the dynamite headache https://t.co/xOayTiAWlT
Aug 11
18141โ€”
3,500
@ThinkBaseLLC I hope one of the languages is ancient akkadian
Aug 16
29010โ€”
3,400
@AestheticRadius a combination of sign language and semaphore that looks to an untrained eye like me sprinting away, my robes billowing behind me
Aug 7
28100โ€”
3,400
@ichbinilya huh, I've never thought about it, but I guess "...hallowed be _thy_ name... for _thine_ is the kingdom, etc" tracks with that, informal thou even though it sounds elevated to modern ears
Aug 7
29010โ€”
3,400
Why has twitter put so much effort into hiding the fact that a tweet is part of a thread? Genuinely what was wrong with the old "show this thread" button?
Aug 27
24030โ€”
3,300
New research suggests Ozymandias, King of Kings was actually just a massive foot fetishist
Aug 12
22111โ€”
3,300
did you know? "don't cast your pearls before swine" isn't advice about not wasting your pearls, it's advice about not getting assassinated by pigs https://t.co/SnN9RAZAdA
Aug 27
18310โ€”
3,200
kinda hard to be normal about dating when your family history is filled with aspirational expressions of love like this https://t.co/pMYcTyf8MV
Aug 23
27010โ€”
3,200
๐Ÿ’ฏTODAY๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐ŸฆŠI GOT๐ŸฆŠ ๐ŸฅTO TELL SOMEONE๐Ÿฅ ๐Ÿ€THAT DUE TO๐Ÿ€ ๐Ÿ’ŽA CHROMOSOMAL๐Ÿ’Ž ๐ŸงฟABNORMALITY๐Ÿงฟ ๐Ÿ”ฎHEEEEEEE'S๐Ÿ”ฎ ๐ŸŒˆCOLORBLIND๐ŸŒˆ
Aug 15
23011โ€”
3,100
I love flirting, but hate flirting in front of other people. Feels like a psychopathically brazen social power game when there's an audience
Aug 30
25010โ€”
3,000
@WilliamBlickos "lamentation", "lamentably"...? my parvenu criticaster, if you must cavil about my dearth of recherchรฉ excrescence via psittacistic rodomontade, pray avoid a catachrestic roundelay whose valetudinarian ostinato scarce graces dis legomenon ere its amaranthine thew deliquesces
Aug 17
20021โ€”
3,000
grok, it's very important that you heavenban me (twitter dot com user @hermitfriend) back to the moots-only algorithm. I'm exempted from this accursed A/B test by diplomatic immunity, divine right of kings, and a signed note from my mom
Aug 14
24010โ€”
2,900
@PurdToaster we make the horses carousel horses
Aug 19
20001โ€”
2,600
lmao been getting a number of women sliding into my dms for my silly jokes ๐Ÿ˜Ž so fine, I guess I'll finally hop on the trend and write a date me doc. link in next tweet
Aug 30
18020โ€”
2,500
@DonnieDorko4 @wirmgurl ๐Ÿซก thank you, you've earned yourself an executive producer's credit on the apple
Aug 11
22000โ€”
2,500
@Supamalaman None beyond whatever minimal social pressure he can exert
Aug 21
19010โ€”
2,400
@aflicker I just picked up Shadow of the Torturer a few weeks ago! I'll look forward to it even more now
Aug 16
16110โ€”
2,400
@Deathmurlok true, but probably bad taste to bring it up during the post-apocalypse
Aug 13
21000โ€”
2,400
helped my friend move a storage unit's worth of solid wood and metal furniture yesterday. goodbye joie de vivre of a starry-eyed youth, hello back pain of a 300-year-old ghoul
Aug 5
21000โ€”
2,400
@Current93VEVO we must reytournne teo tradyscchion
Aug 29
20000โ€”
2,300
...................oh https://t.co/SuIKM7Jg4U
Aug 18
20000โ€”
2,300
How to judge your tweets with zero likes: 10,000 views: "The stupid algorithm is showing this to the wrong people" 100 views: "Hmm, I guess I could've phrased that better" 1 view, 6 seconds after you posted it: "Everyone hates me and I will die alone"
Aug 14
15110โ€”
2,300
you don't get to call yourself a <noun> if you don't <verb> writers write, musicians play, artists draw, athletes train, friends make time, lovers [redacted] [redacted] [holy shit REDACTED]
Aug 25
19000โ€”
2,200
I'm friends with a married couple who always say it would be a bad idea for them to have kids, and it's basically the only thing about them that makes me think they might be right
Aug 14
17010โ€”
2,200
@pav_light Same. At least when there's a baseline level of appreciation I can find some aspect to earnestly praise. But when it's antithetical to what I think makes good work... ๐Ÿ˜ฌ Luckily I'm blessed with talented friends whose work I largely enjoy (and when I don't I feel I can say so)
Aug 19
16010โ€”
2,100
https://t.co/AZHboi0OeL
Aug 19
18000โ€”
2,100
people with sleep paralysis demons are so lucky. my paralysis demon snorts that shit that kept the nazis awake
Aug 16
14020โ€”
2,100
gwern announcement https://t.co/Ok0zBhu4cJ
Aug 5
16010โ€”
2,100
proud to announce I finally have "fuck you" money: https://t.co/GI92xaPPFB
Aug 28
15010โ€”
2,000
One of my friends recently tried to correct my unforgivably backward view of "caring whether my future kids are biologically mine or not" A perfect time to remember that every now and again you have to tell even your closest friends to fuck off
Aug 31
14010โ€”
1,900
just found this little guy dancing on my shirt after I'd been inside for over an hour. please give him a name to get emotionally attached to him, then say goodbye so I can return him to his natural habitat https://t.co/dm6bYe5whq
Aug 28
14010โ€”
1,900
profile name idea for an egirl: Charli SSX Tricky
Aug 17
8040โ€”
1,900
@Rusty_Swarf "but doctor..."
Aug 29
15000โ€”
1,800
@Sandwich_Smith No, it's mostly about quality. Though content can be both a moral error *and* a sign of low quality (e.g. overt didacticism; message pictures) Being an amateur who's learning is straightforwardly good, wildly overestimating the quality of what you've made is not
Aug 19
13010โ€”
1,800
you have no idea what a big deal this is for me. the depths I've delved on color theory. the time I've spent. this is my Christmas morning I understand he may not see it that way, given Christmas's red-green color scheme
Aug 15
11020โ€”
1,800
time to do something either incredibly stupid or incredibly wise
Aug 10
10110โ€”
1,800
If you're ever wondering how I'm feeling, instead of going to the trouble of asking me you can just reread this tweet https://t.co/o1t3Cuk6gE
Aug 30
12010โ€”
1,700
Men will call women irrational for wanting validation rather than solutions, then feel seen for the first time when Theoden cries "DEATH! DEATH! DEEEEEEATH!" at the Pelennor Fields
Aug 29
14000โ€”
1,700
TWINK CORONER: according to the autopsy, he'd started bodybuilding. and looksmaxxing. bonesmashing, lifting heavy, tren, you name it-- GF INTO WAIFISH BOYS: omg no, don't tell me this TWINK CORONER: I'm afraid... it was a twink suicide
Aug 27
12010โ€”
1,700
I'm saving my least trad opinions for marriage
Aug 27
11001โ€”
1,700
@LukRamsay the soul of a poet, in the body of a hot poet... yeah ok I can see the appeal but what would you say to them when you read their poetry?
Aug 19
9011โ€”
1,700
the super bassy dance music at this party is knocking at a door of my heart that I know not how to open
Aug 15
14000โ€”
1,700
[me, eating lethally poisoned surf and turf]: ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿฆž๐Ÿฅฉ [guy at the next table watching me]: my lobster too buttery, my steak too juicy
Aug 13
14000โ€”
1,700
@well_hello_you_ just another day at the office for a couple of ainur like us
Aug 7
14000โ€”
1,700
@moldbugchaser Yeah, the simplest proof is 0.333... = 1/3 multiply both sides by 3, 0.999... = 3/3 0.999... = 1
Aug 11
9020โ€”
1,600
all i'm saying is if i were at mount doom the day the strength of men failed it wouldn't have gone down like that
Aug 11
13000โ€”
1,600
Same guy btw https://t.co/FwmReUXZcl
Aug 31
10010โ€”
1,500
my great-grandfather crashed his future wife's *previous* wedding on horseback and said "You don't want to marry him." she said "You're right." and got on the horse
Aug 23
10010โ€”
1,500
lemme get this straight. you're harboring two wolves on a residential property, intentionally starving one of them, and placing bets on the other to win a premeditated fight to the death? buddy, you're going to jail
Aug 31
11000โ€”
1,400
ladies ๐Ÿ˜ https://t.co/JahJpYaFnQ
Aug 30
9010โ€”
1,400
Lowest Common Denominator Soundsystem would be such a good burn if I didn't like LCD Soundsystem
Aug 28
9010โ€”
1,400
Are they just stopping in to drink my blood and leaving, and what I actually have is a very efficient drive-thru window?
Aug 23
11000โ€”
1,400
Could be a "we will not mess you up like our parents messed us up" thing, only instead of confronting the problem head on and potentially making mistakes they win by not playing https://t.co/QwLa02fw24
Aug 14
7020โ€”
1,400
hey neat it's my pfp ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ [CHIRPBIRDICON] ๐Ÿซด
Aug 17
10000โ€”
1,300
@midnucas lmao I love that though, isn't he very high-ranking by hobbit standards? maybe not in the way it would be understood in Gondor, but he had some inherited title/claim to become local ruler, didn't he? or am I mixing that up
Aug 7
8010โ€”
1,300
RELAX, I can explain ...in the sense that I can describe what's happening, not that I can defend my actions
Aug 31
6001โ€”
1,200
@cosine_distance it didn't fully hit me until I went back and looked at old tweets where I chose the photos at least somewhat intentionally for the grid e.g. when I was doing little writeups of silent films I had them start with an intertitle paired with a relevant shot https://t.co/fHInYBzjY0
Aug 19
9000โ€”
1,200
@venividinotavi thought it might be a synonym for quiddity, but luckily there's a section of the wiki article devoted to curing that exact misunderstanding. thank goodness I won't look like a FOOL the next time I talk about the irreducible elements of being https://t.co/YlLoQVyREr
Aug 11
4011โ€”
1,200
@anaphandao adorable. hope you have enough shelf space for the future Tony awards
Aug 7
9000โ€”
1,200
@_Sp1tFir3 had to update it to speak to the younger generation. kids these days don't know about their Wires and Bands of Brothers and Sopranoses
Aug 7
7010โ€”
1,200
I do this as well and it's insane that the """""correct,",",","," version was ever implemented https://t.co/5nVtSqsWY8
Aug 1
7010โ€”
1,200
Same guy here too https://t.co/MYjginnN6G
Aug 31
6010โ€”
1,100
@Jxspxrth ah, yes of course, I get what you're saying. say no more, wink wink nudge nudge
Aug 16
8000โ€”
1,100
@LeProjetSerret a book that comes with a built-in reason to read The Faerie Queene? sounds great already
Aug 16
6010โ€”
1,100
@ByrgaGeniht alas, as that sounds like it could be right up my alley
Aug 16
6010โ€”
1,100
I don't understand what makes them feel that way. I've seen them both interact with kids a fair amount; they both seem to like them a lot I wonder if it's some cultural pressure that I'm removed enough from to not understand
Aug 14
6010โ€”
1,100
the Merriam-Webster time traveler is so useful for understanding how culture develops apparently in 1725 they invented blue decks, leaving a burning building, winging it, murder, breathing, Hitchcock bootlegs, the .38 Detective Special, Wonderland, and not cutting your balls off https://t.co/LzPy9nO6Qp
Aug 1
6010โ€”
1,100
@galaxymagnet Might be easier to list the things that aren't thoughtcrime
Aug 22
5010โ€”
1,000
@MysteryHacker1 oh, I am IN. if only it weren't $400 https://t.co/ekK2NGfGXV
Aug 16
5010โ€”
1,000
such a brazen act of hubris when an app sends me a cloying nudge notification like I won't kick their entire codebase into the sun on a first transgression
Aug 1
7000โ€”
1,000
@bridgietherease hmmm, like discreet and accretion, I can see it
Aug 29
4010โ€”
900
Of all the changes to this site, many of which have been quite positive, this and the perpetually broken search are the most baffling and terrible
Aug 27
4010โ€”
900
@silverarm0r the game devs are denying me my right to be swarmed by tiny vampires
Aug 24
4010โ€”
900
tag yourself
Aug 18
3100โ€”
900
I wish I had better insight into their thoughts. I've talked to them about it a lot, and it seems like they just think it's a given that it would be bad, but only have a nebulous ideas as to why might be
Aug 15
2020โ€”
900
@yyallian dream app. but if a transatlantic is only 22 hours, I might need slower pigeons for my local friends
Aug 13
4010โ€”
900
@yyallian recently read a love letter my grandma wrote to my grandad when they were first dating what I learned is you gotta be completely in love first ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
Aug 11
6000โ€”
900
Mary Oliver, getting a little nosy about your Baskin Robbins order: Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild 'n reckless sherbet!
Aug 28
3010โ€”
800
feel like shit just want her back https://t.co/MGJ8xcllyf
Aug 27
5000โ€”
800
we're considering a minimalist bohemian aesthetic for the living room. sort of a tohu wa-boho chic
Aug 25
5000โ€”
800
@silverarm0r Originally that he didn't want people to engage with political philosophies that he disagreed with, because they might be convinced. Upon prodding it expanded to things like old literature with contemporary cultural/moral views, books by bad people, and smut
Aug 22
3010โ€”
800
@funplings I still don't know what it is and I refuse to learn https://t.co/na8DZy894A
Aug 21
5000โ€”
800
@Sandwich_Smith I value competence and taste extremely highly in a partner; it shows a lack of both to make something bad and believe it to be good, particularly in a domain you claim to be passionate about https://t.co/P5hMa6Thrt
Aug 19
5000โ€”
800
@thereisnome369 I'm afraid I can't, it must be felt. one of the options should speak to you
Aug 18
3010โ€”
800
@WilliamBlickos lmao I'm glad, took me literally an hour of sifting through my giant "good words" list. and reading it back I wish I didn't do so many <adjective> <noun> formulations! shoulda mixed it up more
Aug 17
3010โ€”
800
@goblinodds ah yes, a kidnapping era. like Picasso's blue period. but for kidnapping wild about your great uncle's wife! I wonder what the rates of it were like. I mean, presumably pretty bad, but bad compared to a normal baseline or bad like kids were disappearing left and right
Aug 15
1020โ€”
800
@soundrotator @dreamyweather ooooh you ain't kiddin
Aug 15
3010โ€”
800
This strikes me as rather cowardly
Aug 14
3010โ€”
800
@RangerWrestl1ng nothing, unless they want a stern talking-to that begins with the ominous invocation of their middle names
Aug 14
3010โ€”
800
my sister sent this to me like 5 hours ago and we're already calling all possible aches, pains, ailments, maladies, and interpersonal problems "the dynamite headache"
Aug 12
5000โ€”
800
@thereisnome369 @tiredpillbug @AmyJoBaxter ๐Ÿ˜
Aug 11
3010โ€”
800
@Mechanical_Dodo https://t.co/LSOUJolnUm
Aug 10
3010โ€”
800
@TaylorMacP @WickedAIyoutube yeah, but I think it's more like the distinction between trusting bulletproof glass to stop a .22 and then firing at it with a tank shell Gandalf wielding Glamdring is *technically* in the category "a guy with a sword", but it's not exactly the median example
Aug 7
1020โ€”
800
@Konsenious @BearAirport I wonder if it changes after he returns as Gandalf the White. He's still trying to reason with Saruman at the end, so he has some reason to be if not friendly, at least not actively hostile
Aug 7
3010โ€”
800
@wit_gambeson haha like button go brrr
Aug 28
2010โ€”
700
@jackkrone_ Yeah, something they've claimed to have stopped. At the moment I think it's a lie I believe there is some platonic ideal of what this place could and should be, but no recent steward has had that vision in mind when managing it
Aug 28
2010โ€”
700
@ArkuAmore huge news https://t.co/Xhj63NaLu1
Aug 27
2010โ€”
700
@tnickbyrnes4 ah shoot you might be right. which is also crazy because usually im more of a middle distance guy
Aug 24
2010โ€”
700
@silverarm0r I get this. one of the most intensely displeasurable (but also kinda cool) experiences I've ever had came up a second time like 2 weeks later, so I asked my brother if he wanted to help, because what if he wanted an intensely displeasurable experience too?
Aug 24
2010โ€”
700
it requires me to learn a particular type of video editing, a niche version of the general skill that I will likely never use again
Aug 18
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for an egirl whose dms I would slide into*
Aug 17
2010โ€”
700
@Slippyzipp6388 https://t.co/dUGQUufz0e
Aug 16
2010โ€”
700
@musestoomuch many are saying https://t.co/2ggEXbk1jp
Aug 16
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@wit_gambeson I was really surprised by the weights they went with! Gaining a follower for a post is only worth 8 likes to the algorithm, less than a qt or reply! Seems so low to me, I think my actual stats show something like an average of 1000 likes to get 1 follower
Aug 15
2010โ€”
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Is it just the permanence? There aren't many things you simply can't back out of to the same extent. Short of abandoning your child it's committing to years of an uncertain future that you may realize wasn't for you after all
Aug 14
2010โ€”
700
I agree with them the least, but I think I might actually respect the reasoning of the "I hate kids" crowd the most. Sure, if you hate kids, I won't insist you try to raise one. Seems fair
Aug 14
2010โ€”
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So do most of the other common excuses around not having kids. The loss of freedom, the attention it demands, the sea change it imposes. So what? That's life; that's moving to a new city away from your old routines; that's a million things
Aug 14
2010โ€”
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@goblinodds @Mechanical_Dodo man, I still gotta make one of those masks like I said I would. a winter project maybe
Aug 14
2010โ€”
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@goblinodds @Mechanical_Dodo ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿฅณ they still look so cool
Aug 14
2010โ€”
700
@zencephalon @Malcolm_Ocean hour fifteen, tops
Aug 14
2010โ€”
700
When am I supposed to be able to see the eclipse? I've been staring at the sun for HOURS
Aug 13
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@verybigcardinal @sedatesnail ๐Ÿฅฐ basically my ideal outcome for a joke https://t.co/Q9Bi5U2n5C
Aug 12
2010โ€”
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@moldbugchaser @macharyofme beautiful
Aug 11
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@Supamalaman and the more infrequent they are, the more insane they can/must be
Aug 11
2010โ€”
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@driftingwendigo @rgbqcd America's pastime, they call it https://t.co/d8uqJuH1rY
Aug 10
2010โ€”
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@goblinodds I actually think I just cracked this, I can let you know for sure tomorrow. unfollowing that many will still be slow, but who to unfollow I've got a 30-minute solution for
Aug 10
2010โ€”
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@thereisnome369 fear not, the emoji selection was tactical rather than sincere ๐Ÿ˜˜
Aug 30
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every pig in 27 AD worked for Murder, Incorporated
Aug 27
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@goblinodds !! that's a cool family record to have. how old was she at the time?
Aug 22
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@wit_gambeson Yesssss, most wise. Both of my grandfathers passed away before I was born, I would've loved to have recordings like that as I grew up hearing stories about them
Aug 21
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@LukRamsay who among us...
Aug 19
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@shinboson but only a little death
Aug 18
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@wit_gambeson Marshmallow experiment world champ, I presume?
Aug 18
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@thereisnome369 a coin flip between that and being killed by the very thing they're studying. or, in rare cases, both: https://t.co/gOwqGgx5Di
Aug 18
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@thereisnome369 joining a long and noble line of men killed by a mob that was unable to hear the truth
Aug 18
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@silverarm0r come over https://t.co/mJUfnbc6Ae
Aug 18
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@kramerposts ๐Ÿฆ€๐Ÿฆ€๐Ÿฆ€ https://t.co/rfSzq00ERy
Aug 18
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@thereisnome369 But when the alternative to even that is nonexistence, well, I dunno. It depends.
Aug 17
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@thereisnome369 Even though of course I know that's not actually true and I know plenty of people who shouldn't have become parents for all the misery they wrought, intentionally or otherwise
Aug 17
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@thereisnome369 I want my own kids so badly, I am a little blind to not feeling that way. I understand it intellectually, but some part of me just feels like... "but once you meet your own kids you'd feel differently"
Aug 17
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@thereisnome369 Ah, see, at weddings and the like I tend to meet the parents for 5 minutes to establish that I'm not crazy and then I'll start chasing their kids while pretending to be a dragon, or give them piggy back rides, or draw pictures with them where we each add something back and forth
Aug 17
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@DoofDoofson I am not! any recommendations?
Aug 16
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@goblinodds yeah, ~4 a year is bad within a relatively small community, but it's not the runaway crime spree I was expecting
Aug 15
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@goblinodds reread this and realized I said kids like they were the only ones who were getting napped, but you know what I mean
Aug 15
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@goblinodds ooh, I could get behind most of this. my limited interaction with the legal system certainly makes me think vendettas would often be more straightforward and just
Aug 15
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@goblinodds I must learn more about this great and noble virtue of my forebears https://t.co/LV17WL7I2V
Aug 15
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@goblinodds ohh lmao ok, I was literally about to hit send on "holy shit, they HATED us"
Aug 15
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@wit_gambeson They're so good! I always like seeing them on my tl
Aug 15
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@kenthecowboy_ In general that could be a possibility, in this instance it's not. They've been adamant about it for as long as I've known them, since before they would've even been thinking about trying
Aug 14
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@goblinodds shocked no one else has asked this yet: what are the other stereotypes???
Aug 14
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@noa_tate_ :O impressive. one day soon I intend to pivot and do similarly, but for this month at least I believe it would conflict with my ongoing virality science experiments
Aug 13
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@noa_tate_ unless this is advertising some kind of suction cup martini glass, in which case I rescind my snark and merely respect the hubris
Aug 13
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@noa_tate_ ah yes, that classic dream scenario of staying perfectly still unless actively drinking your martini
Aug 13
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@noa_tate_ i still think about him https://t.co/OclNfBOQaF
Aug 13
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@noa_tate_ inspiring 1st 2k tweets: 3 years but once upon a time.... I was *this* close https://t.co/hvZlxv5C4m
Aug 13
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@sedatesnail @verybigcardinal oh, uh... if you haven't seen The Great Dictator, it's possible that this is going to warp your perception of one of the greatest movie speeches of all time, maybe just watch it all the way through first
Aug 13
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@sedatesnail @verybigcardinal you're not gonna like it, but it's meant to be someone getting horny for the wrong reasons while Charlie Chaplin implores "wwii soldiers" for humanity if I could take it all back... I wouldn't. but I *would* add "Unnatural Men! ๐Ÿคจ" and more of the speech https://t.co/lEkNroJRxB
Aug 13
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@UntilTrees is this how you discovered it too? https://t.co/xI1eHwjt24
Aug 11
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@bridgietherease whoa, not even halfway through this, but: unreal
Aug 11
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@racheleaurouge I don't think I knew you had a substack! Most enjoyable, I'll have to read my way through the archive
Aug 11
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@AugustineFacts Not much at all, but you're right, it's a curve along which it gets more annoying to work, and then a point at which I won't even sit down. I could probably chart it against visible desktop surface area and get a pretty accurate result
Aug 10
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@AugustineFacts Keeping my desk clear. If I let the clutter build up, I lose a few days of work. Keep it completely empty and it'll be where I spend the bulk of my time
Aug 10
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@goblinodds succeeded in 9 days this time with 3 simultaneous viral tweets (my 13th, 14th, and 16th top-level tweets from the cull). biggest is currently at 117k
Aug 8
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@__drewface requesting a transfer to your bracket
Aug 8
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@hyperdiscogirl how did you call this at 8 likes. do you have the shinigami eyes but for tweets
Aug 7
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@pav_light are you... numbering your special interests in hexadecimal? because there are so many of them?
Aug 6
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@wit_gambeson Ooqui is this for understanding human color vision (as well as some other quirks); he's one of the most interesting channels on the entire site. He just released a 40-minute video about why functional human tetrachromacy is not as great as it's cracked up to be
Aug 1
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@MunicipleOrrery ah, good point. I don't appear to be wired that way so I didn't even consider it. too WASPy
Aug 31
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@thereisnome369 Without a doubt, the very same
Aug 31
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@bridgietherease oh absolutely. just last week I learned that "vittles" and "victuals" are in fact not different words
Aug 29
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@amazingflyingem excellent choice
Aug 28
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@jackkrone_ You may be right, but willingly making your core product worse to pressure people into paying feels like an unnecessary own-goal. Feels more like a key part of twitter's platform identity just doesn't work anymore
Aug 27
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@racheleaurouge Urologist, I hope
Aug 27
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@RandomSprint that was a prophetic dream. that's going to happen
Aug 27
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GF: (crying) BF: (still in gym clothes) babe, what's wrong? TWINK CORONER: this fuckin' job never gets any easier
Aug 27
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@babieswithb this has gotta be one of the weirder things I've been jealous of
Aug 26
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@harima_ronin_61 It's not thoughtcrime when he does it, because all of his thoughts are the good thoughts, and all of his opinions are the right ones. Really lucky how he happened to come to every correct conclusion 100% of the time
Aug 23
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@buydefault_ You are; I've definitely seen that kind of pro-and-con list thinking. But that's what I don't get about this couple in particular, they're not really doing that! They don't raise those concerns, they just seem to think it would go poorly without a firm idea of how or why
Aug 17
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@BabyCinephile97 I appreciate that you double-checked before jumping to conclusions
Aug 16
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@strangestloop @desertgodhead @aaaronwill @venividinotavi @janitachalam @rendroid1 @JackKrone @mradul_swapnil I'm enjoying it a lot, it's the main reason I started posting more. I wish I could see "days won" rather than just net points though; despite my point total, I think I've only won 4 or 5 days Favorite war movie is probably AQotWF (1930), Paisan, or Paths of Glory
Aug 16
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@munoz_ulyses hope you're eating it standing up
Aug 13
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@noa_tate_ plus I just like hoarding tweets until I can make them close enough to perfect (give or take whichever final edit I notice only after hitting send). I'm getting better at replying from the hip at least https://t.co/QzBy6dj914
Aug 13
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@meaning_enjoyer real. I take a similarly effective approach https://t.co/PBt8C0yTY2
Aug 13
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@willx6923 @St_Rev so what I'm learning is maybe I don't want the dynamite headache
Aug 13
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@EigenBraid I'll count it is a win if they start arguing about that instead
Aug 11
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@jicapal underappreciated banger
Aug 11
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@artbypep After a lifetime of eating croissants, I recently discovered that the best ones I've ever had are like 8 blocks from me If they're better in France I truly can't fathom how
Aug 11
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@spacefeudalist @LeeNguaccia ok fair, but counterpoint: I would absolutely watch the Balrog request a visa
Aug 7
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@specfictions extremely relatable https://t.co/ErbtzM1rHJ
Aug 6
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@bridgietherease Huh, I know what you mean, but I'm not sure if it applies to him or not. I don't think I've ever prodded him on his beliefs from that angle before, I'll give it a try the next time something comes up; maybe point to a higher authority in his belief system who disagrees with him
Aug 31
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@thereisnome369 a German lesson *and* a compliment from a someone with cool shades and a smirk? oh my, danke ๐Ÿ˜Š
Aug 30
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@mrscaew @chrishardman In short: remove bot followers. They cost views but don't like, so the algo sees your tweets getting low interaction rates and stops showing them to more (real) people. Slow to fix at 18k though Currently drafting the comprehensive fix, but until then: https://t.co/cFmbpzPyyX
Aug 30
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@thereisnome369 damn, I'll never know who my real friends and fake friends are ever again
Aug 28
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@amazingflyingem Cassette! Hell yeah
Aug 28
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@sir_lemmings @ArkuAmore Please do! I look forward to hearing the results
Aug 27
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@silverarm0r they could at least pretend like they had to think about it
Aug 24
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@kramerposts Haven't reread this in 20 years, but I am 100% positive it holds up
Aug 23
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@tidepoolsoup it was *so* good. I've been considering digging out my ps2 and seeing if it holds up, but I'm worried I've overhyped it in my memory
Aug 20
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@asierpovs then it'd be completely worth it and I'd start immediately
Aug 19
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@LeProjetSerret truly the movie where the concept of onscreen chemistry was born
Aug 18
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@unirespecter my man https://t.co/FZ32XDz6tD
Aug 18
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@thereisnome369 hmmm, this is most tempting. I'll keep you updated
Aug 18
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@sedatesnail incredible
Aug 18
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@MysteryHacker1 very cool. looks like site is down and wayback is having an outage at the moment, but once it's back online I'll be traversing through it
Aug 17
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@thereisnome369 it was YOUโ€”!
Aug 17
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@DoofDoofson ๐Ÿซก added to my list, thanks
Aug 16
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@Leila41066094 @ianhowlett extremely true
Aug 16
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@goblinodds ๐Ÿ˜ญ
Aug 15
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@kenthecowboy_ Late 30s, known them since they were ~19/21 and first dating
Aug 15
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@St_Rev fascinating. let's hope a monkey's paw didn't curl when I indirectly asked for this
Aug 13
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@thereisnome369 gdi, I knew it. bring me the dynamite
Aug 12
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@bridgietherease I've saved the album for future listening, please let me know if there's something in particular by him that I shouldn't miss!
Aug 11
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@ReposeGuru This is true
Aug 11
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@funplings Not a collection of articles, but I know of two books that have you shuffle the pages before you start reading. Might give them a similar "piecing-it-together" quality? The Unfortunates by B. S. Johnson Composition No. 1 by Marc Saporta (I haven't read either due to cost)
Aug 11
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@TechCapo only reason I'm in the game tbh
Aug 11
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@0bNARA an ancient and storied tradition https://t.co/vayVZZaB3K
Aug 11
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@FoopDooperino Not sure I could pick a favorite, but I love John Ruskin's Study of a Kingfisher https://t.co/78Q3xMYuKY
Aug 10
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@AugustineFacts And now that you mention it, my basic setup already takes up a lot of the available space, that's gotta be a decent chunk of the problem right there ...I should get a much larger desk
Aug 10
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@kenthecowboy_ the stuff dreams are made of (nightmares count)
Aug 10
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@jipingchiu @ascetic_shadow Oh man, that's actually a genius idea. I'll try to make it happen ๐Ÿซก
Aug 9
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@AnthonyCastrio Entirely by hand, I automated it once but it wasn't worth it at my follower count. Only takes a few minutes when you're removing ~100 or so against a predetermined list
Aug 8
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@__drewface here's hoping the competitive aspect of tpot wars is what finally teaches me how to post consistently enough to get there
Aug 8
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@werner58_ what a delightful niche fact. if it was only Scrooge McDuck I would've assumed it was just meant as a joke about his age, like Mr. Burns answering the phone with ahoy-hoy
Aug 7
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@Mechanical_Dodo ahhh, good to know, thanks. I'll try that in a week or two after what I imagine must be a fresh wave of follow requests dies down
Aug 5
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see what other fun facts you can learn at https://t.co/CT0kYolQfD
Aug 1
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@Paul_Melman haha I mean, I keep hanging out with him, so it's not like these are his only personality traits. I should post something nice about him to counteract all this bad press
Aug 31
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nobody like this. i'm better than this. (i'm not)
Aug 28
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you don't get to call yourself a <noun> if you don't <verb> artists draw writers write athletes train musicians play friends make time lovers [redacted] [redacted] [holy shit REDACTED]
Aug 25
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tag yourself
Aug 18
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@buydefault_ Like, I have heard them say that *of course* they'd figure out the finances and scheduling and working around their kids' lives, that wouldn't be the problem. Just some vague other reason that I'm not sure they've ever pinned down
Aug 17
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@Slippyzipp6388 โ˜๏ธ Understand. (by Ted Chiang)
Aug 16
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@lu_sichu sounds like something I would do. filing it away under "future projects"
Aug 16
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@lisatomic5 what a beautiful whistling tone also I kept looking at the fret hand, thinking "that looks like more than two fingers though??"
Aug 11
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@FoopDooperino oh wow, incredible
Aug 10
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@pav_light forgive me, we definitely don't know each other well enough for me to say this unprompted, but: hot
Aug 6
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I know that's not the type of quote that would need commas and I don't care
Aug 1
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Total ยท 266 tweets in September 2026290,04010,3259185991 boosted
32,546,700

Posts, replies, and quote tweets count โ€” native retweets are excluded. Mentioning a project on the boost list doubles that tweet's points.